January 26, 2009

Some things that scare me

I had trouble falling asleep last night, on the couch, staring at the clock on the cablebox.  All I could do was think about things that scare me.  Not terrifying things, just worrysome things, like paper deadlines, writing in ink, or waiting for bad news on the phone.  The kind of things that loom, that feel heavy, make you tired.

Some things that scare me, in no particular order:

That I am no longer creative

That maybe I never was

Getting old

Sickness

Not remembering my childhood

The fact that I haven’t finished a book in well over a year

That my attention span is getting shorter

Crowded places/rooms

Depression

The nagging suspicion that the only thing I learned in college was how to write a paper with Chicago style citations

Sandstorms

Not finding a job this semester

Loneliness

Having no one to blame but yourself for it

Competition

Talking on phones

Some things I have. Some I dont, but they scare me nonetheless.  Sometimes it is good to make lists.

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